Ignore the rumours, we need to set this straight: masturbation is not the reserve of single people. It doesn’t constitute cheating to have fun alone with a toy, and statistically, it’s completely normal to continue masturbating if you’re committed to a partner – yes, even if you’re married. In fact, those with regular sexual partners are even more likely to partake in masturbation than those who don’t have partners.
So if you’re recently coupled up, there’s no need to fear cobwebs gathering on your favourite vibrator – and if you’ve been in a relationship for a while it’s totally fine if you still enjoy some solo time to feel yourself. On top of that, watching each other masturbate can be amazing foreplay and is a really great way to show your partner exactly how you like it.
It’s a pretty common fear that if you masturbate when you’re in a relationship it’s a sign that something isn’t working. But masturbation helps increase sexual confidence by allowing you to figure out what you do and don’t enjoy. And when shared, it can actually enhance intimacy and trust as you learn together how to turn one another on. Some couples find the act of watching and being watched a turn on in itself (bonus).
Another rumour: you’ll lose your sex drive or ability to orgasm during sex if you masturbate. Um, no. Masturbation won’t impact your desire for your partner, in fact, self-pleasure should form a part of the wider intimacy you experience with your partner. Neither will it stop you from reaching orgasm. If anything, you’ll become more adept at understanding how to make your partner come and how to extend your own pleasure by learning about your own sexuality.
Bottom line? The more comfortable you are with your own body, the more confident you’ll become exploring your partner’s.