How to make a woman orgasm: A step-by-step guide

If you’re reading this, on behalf of all women, thank you. We need more sexual partners like you. Whom actually care about giving a woman a pleasurable experience in the bedroom (or wherever it is you like to get freaky). To find out exactly how to make a woman orgasm, read on…

Ah. If only some of the boy’s I’ve dated read up on how to make a woman orgasm. After more experiences than I’d like to admit of my sexual partners reaching orgasm themselves – and then thinking it’s perfectly acceptable to roll over and take a nap – I can tell you first hand, there’s nothing sexier than a partner who actually wants you to cum. 

It’s important to understand that knowledge is power. We say “hell yeah” to knowledge. Knowing what you’re doing when getting intimate with your partner(s) is the golden key to being comfortable and confident. Thus making your partner(s) feel comfortable and confident too.

Whether you’ve had trouble tipping the lady in your life over the edge, you’re looking to up your oral sex game or you’re just curious to know what makes a woman tick, you’re in the right place.

So here it is. Women. They’re quite the enigma, huh? 

I know you’re secretly hoping I’m going to tell you there’s a magic switch you can flick on a woman’s right leg that’ll make her cum at a single push. But the truth of it is that women are each so individually unique and special and there’s no one single way to make a woman orgasm. 

Don’t get cross with me. It’s not what you wanted to hear, I know. But women are complex and it’s not always a simple task. If you don’t think you’re up to the challenge, feel free to exit now. If you think you’re ready, read on.

How to make a woman orgasm

Step 1: Consent 

First things first, make her feel comfortable and make sure everything you’re doing is one hundred percent consensual. This applies for all of your sexual encounters and the entirety of all your sexual encounters. Consent is mandatory (and sexy as hell). Consent is always step 1 on the way to Orgasm Town.

If it’s not a “hell yes” then it’s a no.

Step 2: Turn her on

This can be anything from kissing her neck to making out to running your hands up and down her body. Do what feels natural, don’t rush into anything and don’t overthink. Tell her she’s sexy and beautiful and smart and any other things you’ve been wanting to say to her. If she’s not turned on naturally in this kind of situation, then I hate to say it. But she’s probably just not that into you.

Step 3: Communicate

Ask her what she likes, what she’s into and how she likes to be touched. We’re all different, really. It can take a while to get used to another persons body, and they can take a while to get used to you. Touch her in different ways. Ask her what feels good. And listen to the sounds she makes. Tell her how you’re feeling, and what you’d like to do to her – and what you’d like her to do to you. Communicating your wants and needs will make her feel more comfortable communicating hers. And chances are she’ll be turned on by the fact that you’re turned on. 

Step 4: Stimulate the clitoris

(specifically for women with a vulva)

Those with a vulva are simply way less likely to cum from penetrative sex than those with a penis. And 9 times out of 10, the clit is where the magic happens.

The clitoris is kinda like that magic switch I mentioned earlier, but it takes a little more work than just flicking it on to reach the point of orgasm. (Although flicking can feel pretty good and eventually get you there)

Educate yourself on where the clit is located on a vulva, but of course be aware that the appearance of clitorises will vary from person to person. 

Again, communication is necessary in finding what kind of pressure and motion feels good to your partner. You can gently flick it with your finger, rub it with your hand, lick it in circular motions with your tongue and so on and so on. Allow her to tell you what feels good and what she wants more of, whether that be with words, moans or body language.

Step 5: Toys are friends not foe

Sex toys are not your competition, they’re merely your partner in orgasmic joyousness. Vibrators are amazing for clitoral stimulation and even something as simple as a small butt plug can enhance sexual pleasure and tip your partner over the cusp of a beautiful orgasm. 

There are a whole range of different sex toys to experiment with.

There’s also cock rings that can be worn during penetrative sex to simultaneously make love to the clit. Or maybe even a vibrating wand she could use on herself while you’re getting down and dirty. Introducing and experimenting with toys could be your ticket to giving her mind-blowing orgasms she won’t be able to get enough of. 

Step 6: Enjoy the journey

My final piece of advice is to not put too much pressure on yourself – nor her – to reach the final destination of orgasm. Pressure can lead to overthinking and an inability to orgasm altogether (anorgasmia). 

The best part is enjoying each other, making each other feel good and becoming engulfed in your intimacy together. If it happens to end in orgasm, great. However if not, it’s not the end of the world. Let go of the narrative in your head that sex is only good when you both achieve an orgasm. Because it simply isn’t true. It’s merely the cherry on top of what is already a very delicious cake.