Welcome to my beginner’s guide to sex toys, aka the beginner’s bible for all things sex toy. If you have questions, then you can rest easily knowing I have the answers right here.
Having more orgasms comes with many health benefits, from improved mood, to better sleep and improved blood circulation. Exploring sex toys is a beautiful and healthy experience. It’s an opportunity to learn about your sexuality and the pleasures your body can offer you.
It is perfectly normal to desire pleasure and sex toys are a wonderful way to achieve lots of pleasurable orgasms. Sex toys are absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and most people you know probably have (at least) one tucked away in the back of their sock drawer!
So, what exactly is a sex toy?
A sex toy is an object or device used for sexual stimulation and/or to enhance sexual pleasure. There are many different types of sex toy on the market. Here is a list of some of the most popular types of sex toy:
A sex toy that is shaped to resemble an erect penis.
A sex toy with a vibrating motor for increased sexual stimulation.
An egg or bullet shaped sensual sex toy that can be completely inserted into the vagina or anus usually have an external element used for retrieval and removal of the toy. They often vibrate with a remote control intended for couples play or can be weighted in the form of kegel or “Ben Wa” balls.
A circular shaped flexible sex toy designed to be worn around the base of the penis with the purpose of restricting blood flowing order to produce and maintain a stronger erection for a longer period of time. Cock rings can be bought as just the ring itself but more commonly come with a vibrating element that’s primarily designed to stimulate the clitoris during penis in vagina sex.
A kind of vibrating sex toy that is designed to “cup” around the penis for intense pleasure during masturbation.
A tapered length of multiple sized spheres attached together graduating from small to large. They’re designed to be inserted anally and removed at various speeds depending on the desired sensation. They often have an external element, such as finger loops, used for retrieval and removal.
A kind of dildo which has an element of clitoral stimulation in the form of vibrating bunny ears.
A bullet is a small bullet-shaped vibrating sex toy, which is primarily used for stimulating the clitoris. They’re one of the most discreet vibrators and are a great choice for beginners.
Kegel balls are small (usually weighted) balls designed to be inserted into the vagina. Their purpose is either to increase sexual pleasure and arousal as a form of extended foreplay or to train the pelvic floor muscles.
A sex toy designed to be inserted anally. They’re often fairly small in size and have a flanged end designed to keep it in place in order to prevent the toy from entirely entering the rectum. They can be used as preparation for anal sex or to increase pleasure by stimulating the anal nerve endings or prostate during sex or masturbation. They usually don’t vibrate, although there are vibrating ones on the market.
A wand vibrator is a sex toy, usually large in size, that’s made up of a handle with a vibrating rounded ball on the end. Wand vibrators can also be known as “magic wands”. They can be used as a massager as well as a sex toy, and are known or clitoral stimulation and a more “rumbly” sensation of vibration.
Clitoral suction toys
A newer kind of clitoris stimulating sex toy which usually feature a small hole-like “suction cup” designed to be placed over the clitoris and give a sucking sensation.
A kind of sex toy that is inserted anally to stimulate the prostate. They often look similar to a butt plug, although usually larger in size and with an extra external element that rests on the perineum (the area between the anus and genitals). Prostate massagers usually vibrate and can also commonly have features like rotation.
Bondage is the sexual practice of consensually tying, binding or restraining a partner. It’s a form of BDSM and can involve anything from handcuffs to Shibari (ancient Japanese rope tying).
What is the best sex toy for beginners?
Everybody is different, but if you’re new to the world of sex toys, it might be a good idea to start off with something simplistic.
For people with a vulva:
I’d recommend starting out with something like a bullet vibrator or a small wand vibrator, but if you’d prefer not to jump in with a vibrator, a simple dildo would be a good choice.
For people with a penis:
I’d recommend a vibrating penis cup, or maybe something like a butt plug to introduce gentle prostate stimulation into your masturbation sessions.
What are sex toys made of?
Sex toys can be made of many different materials including silicone, glass, plastic, jelly rubber and metal.
My two favourite sex toy materials are glass and silicone. Both of these come with their own benefits and are body-safe (which many of the common materials aren’t, FYI).
Are glass sex toys safe?
Contrary to what you might think, glass dildos are actually one of the safest materials for sex toys. They’re sanitary, easy to clean, non-porous, hypoallergenic and non-toxic.
Usually glass sex toys are made out of a special kind of glass called borosilicate glass, and will not break inside of you.
How should you clean your sex toys?
Sex toys should be cleaned before and after every use.
Every toy can be different depending on the type of toy, material of toy and whether or not the toy is waterproof. It’s important to read the manufacturers advice for each specific toy.
For a thorough clean, it’s recommended to use a cleaner specifically for sex toys. That way you can check that it’s compatible with the material of your toy and be certain it’s doing the job properly. Make sure the toy is fully dry before putting it away.
Can you use lube with sex toys?
Lube is always recommended for any kind of sex, including sex and/or masturbation with sex toys! However, there are different kinds of lube and some may not be safe for use with your toys.
Silicone toys are not recommended for use with with silicone-based lube as it can break down and degrade the material of the toy. Silicone-based lube can however be used safely with glass and other sex toy materials.
Oil-based lubricant can be used safely with most sex toys, but it is important to remember that oil-based is not compatible for use with condoms because it can break down and degrade the material of the condom.
In conclusion, water-based lube is always the safest option. It’s almost always compatible with sex toys and is usually safe for use with condoms.
Do dildos need condoms?
It is recommended to use condoms or to clean between each person if you’re sharing dildos. If you do use condoms with your sex toys, be aware that many condoms are packaged with silicone-based lubricant, which can in turn break down and degrade your silicone toys.
Condoms are recommended for use on dildos that aren’t made of body-safe materials, such as porous materials such as jelly rubber or plastic.
As long as your dildo is made of a body-safe and non-porous material such as silicone, glass or metal, then a condom isn’t required for safe personal use as long as you are properly cleaning your toys before and after each use.
Are there male sex toys?
All sex toys can be used for all genders and do not need to be bound to one specific use. However, there are many sex toys designed for the penis, as well as to stimulate the prostate and increase pleasure through anal play.
Good examples would be cock rings, masturbation cups, designed to “cup” around the penis. As well as prostate massagers, designed to stimulate and give pleasure via the “male g-spot”.
Can you be too sensitive for a vibrator?
Vibrators vary in strength and so does the sensitivity of people’s genitals. It’s not uncommon to take a bit of time to get used to vibrators, especially if you’re new to them.
If the vibrations of your toy feel too strong for you at first, you can try experimenting with using the toy over your underwear or a thin piece of fabric for a more gentle sensation. If you have a vulva, you can also try using the vibrator just to the side of your clitoris, rather than directly on it. Or you can place your toy underneath you, so you can grind on the toy and move your pelvis accordingly to what feels good for you.
Remember – there is no incorrect way to use a sex toy!
If you don’t feel comfortable using a vibrator, don’t forget non-vibrating toys can be used externally as well as internally! Non-vibrating toys with ribbing can be a really pleasurable alternative.
What is the best sex toy for the G-spot?
Any kind of dildo with a curved end is optimal for G-spot stimulation.
If you have a prostate (commonly known as the male g-spot) then a prostate massager is perfect, but if that seems a little intimidating, a good butt plug can be a wonderful place to start.
Can you use sex toys in water?
Whether or not a sex toy can be used in water varies depending on the specific toy. Always read the manufacturers instructions for information on whether your toy is waterproof before using your toy in water. Especially if it’s battery powered!
How should sex toys be stored?
The general rule of thumb is to keep your sex toys in a cool dry place. And make sure toys are clean and fully dry before putting them away. Sex toys often come packaged in a storage pouch or case to keep the toy dust-free.