The ‘F**k Yourself’ Tote

Carry your Convictions, on Canvas

£19.95

Next day delivery & free returns

100% discreet and trackable

"Cute and Cool. Love it. "

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Simply Lube?
You Simply Must.

Combo Price = £49.85£42.90

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This isn’t just any tote; it’s a statement piece, a declaration of eco-conscious sass, and a carrier of your most essential pleasures.

This tote is a tribute to the daring, the eco-warriors, and the unapologetically bold. Made with unbleached cotton canvas, robust canvas straps, and adorned with hessian detailing flaunting our coveted slogan, ‘F**k Yourself. Not The Planet.’ this tote is your companion in making a statement that’s loud, proud, and environmentally sound!

It’s spacious enough to carry your day-to-day essentials (and maybe a few TNLC extras!), yet stylish enough to turn heads and spark conversations. The ‘F**k Yourself’ Tote is like a badge of honour for eco-chic enthusiasts – a fusion of fashion, function, and playful audacity. So why settle for the mundane when you can carry a piece of the TNLC spirit with you? It’s more than just a bag; it’s a piece of the revolution in sustainable pleasure. Make a statement, carry your convictions, and remember – loving yourself never goes out of style, especially when it’s this planet-friendly!

This isn’t just any tote; it’s a statement piece, a declaration of eco-conscious sass, and a carrier of your most essential pleasures.

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This isn’t just any tote; it’s a statement piece, a declaration of eco-conscious sass, and a carrier of your most essential pleasures. Read More

This isn’t just any tote; it’s a statement piece, a declaration of eco-conscious sass, and a carrier of your most essential pleasures.

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Sustainably Minded
Discreet Delivery

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We provide trackable free priority next-day delivery on all orders over £100. Additionally, we offer an express 2-3 day delivery that is free with all orders over £50. You'll find more details on our delivery options here and our free returns policy here. All our packaging is 100% discreet, sustainable and plastic-free.

Plastic Free
Packaging

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Our delightful bundles come encased in a charming cotton drawstring bag, all within a sleek recycled cardboard mailer box.

Tree Planted

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For each purchase we’ll plant a tree to say thanks. So far we’ve planted over 50,000!

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See Sizing

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34cm (13.4”) x 38cm (15”)

F**k Yourself. Not the planet.^TM

We'll recycle your old toys, for free.

As part of our 'Second Coming recycling scheme, we'll recycle your old sex toys whether or not you originally bought them from us. Simply claim your free postage label and use the mailer box your new products came in.

We plant a tree for every item you purchase.

As part of our 'orgasms for oxygen scheme', we plant a tree for every item purchased. We're currently replenishing devastating deforestation in North West Madagascar, and with your help have planted over 100,000 trees.

We make sex toys from recycled ocean plastic.

Since 2022, all of our best sellers have been made using a recycled ocean plastic internal core, adorned with a buttery smooth sanitary grade silicone covering.

Our ‘Simply’ range of lubricants is certified Vegan.

Every bottle proudly carries certification from The Vegan Society—a guarantee that every ingredient meets the highest vegan and ethical standards. We go even further: while not formally certified, our packaging is also considered with care, using plant-based inks and avoiding animal-derived materials. That means no animal testing (ever), no hidden animal byproducts, and full transparency from formulation to finish. Each lube in the Simply collection is made with high-quality, plant-powered ingredients that are kind to your body and gentle on the planet.