Anal sex can be amazing, but it can also be intimidating and many people don’t know where to start.
Should you prepare beforehand? Do you need an enema to make your butt squeaky clean? Is it going to hurt? Are you going to enjoy it?
The trick is to not overthink it too much. Sex isn’t supposed to be stressful. It’s supposed to be fun and exciting and pleasurable. Take a step back and ~relax~ because I’ve got it covered with all the information you need before you dive head-first (pun intended) into anal sex.
1. Make sure you want to do it, and that it’s with a partner you trust
Every time I talk about sex, I inevitably talk about consent. Making sure everybody involved (including you) is enthusiastic and consenting is the first and most important step in any sexual experience.
With anal sex, it’s essential to make sure you’re doing it because you want to. And not just because your partner(s) have expressed they’d like to do it with you. It can be common for the “giver” to be interested in anal sex, without taking into account the vulnerability it requires to be the “receiver”. If this sounds anything like your situation, remind yourself that it’s okay to set boundaries. Don’t feel pressure to take part. The desire needs to be mutual.
Anal play is incredibly intimate. Make sure you’re doing it with a partner you fully trust. That way both or all of you can feel safe, secure and comfortable in each others intimacy.
2. Stock up on lube
News flash. The booty is not self-lubricating. Well, technically a little mucus is produced by the anal ducts when the rectum is getting ready to dispel a big poop. But unlike the vagina and the mouth, additional lube is necessary for anal insertion and penetration.
There is no such thing as too much lube for anal play. The slippery-er the better. Less friction increases comfort and pleasure for all involved.
There is, however, such thing as not enough lube. Too little lube, or disregarding lubricant altogether, can result in discomfort, tears in the rectal lining, and if the penetration is penile, injury to the penis such as tearing of the frenulum (commonly known as the banjo string).
3. Douche (if you want to)
Anal douching is a method of cleaning out the rectum. A douche is a device that can be used to flush water into the rectum to remove any residual faeces or smells.
Douching is not a necessity for anal sex and actually your body will naturally keep poo up high and out of the way in the colon until you’re ready for a bowel movement. However, it’s normal to be worried about poo making an appearance during anal play and for many people (me included) douching is really beneficial for peace of mind and additional confidence, allowing you to relax into the pleasure rather than being stuck in your head.
It’s a pretty simple practice to flush out the rectum. All all you need to do is fill the douche with warm water and insert the nozzle into the anus. With a little lube for comfort, of course. Then gently squeeze the bulb allowing the water to cleanse the area before removing the nozzle for the water to exit. Simply repeat until the water flows clear.
You should aim to douche around 30 minutes to 2 hours before anal sex. That way you can be sure all the liquids have expelled from the body.
4. Keep a towel or some wipes near by (just in case)
All being said, let me remind you that a little poop or smell is nothing to be ashamed of during anal sex. You’re literally penetrating the part of your body that the poo comes out of.
It’s always smart to keep some wet wipes or a towel handy. That way if anything does appear then it can be easily, discreetly and respectfully wiped off.
Remember, if you’re giving, be respectful. If you’re receiving – and your partner isn’t respectful – simply don’t give them the privilege of entering your booty-hole ever again. If everybody involved is grown-up enough to participate in anal sex… then they’re also grown up enough to understand that it’s possible and normal for faecal matter to be present. And that it’s nothing to make a big deal out of.
5. Use protection
Sexually transmitted infections are still very much possible with anal sex. It’s always recommended to protect against STIs with a condom. There’s also the added element of faeces containing bacteria. Using a condom is essential to prevent spreading the bacteria into the urethra of the penis. Protection will also prevent bacteria entering the mouth or vagina in any post-anal sex. Just make sure to change the condom if you’re switching hole.
6. Build up to it
If you’re totally new to anal sex, it’s not a bad idea to experiment a little before you go for full penetration. Alone or with a partner, try inserting a finger first (or maybe even just pressing a finger or vibrator against the anus). Then maybe give some toys a go if you fancy it.
A butt plug or some anal beads would be a good place to begin. You could even opt for a set of variously sized butt plugs, so you can start small and gradually move up in size as you become more comfortable with insertion.
The more you experiment with anal pleasure, the more you’ll learn about what you enjoy. It’s good establish some of your boundaries before jumping into the deep end with full penetration. And, hey, anal sex means something different to everyone. If fingers and toys are where you want to stay, you can leave it at that.
7. Go slow and steady
Okay, the final step is not to rush the experience or put any pressure on the sex. Communicate with your partner(s), start slowly, and continue to communicate throughout your time together. Keep in mind you reserve the right to set boundaries, change your mind, and withdraw consent at any point. If it gets uncomfortable or you’re not enjoying it, you’re allowed to stop, and it’s fundamental that your partner remains respectful of that. This applies to both the giver and the receiver.
Start gently and carefully and tell your partner(s) what feels good and what feels not-so-good. You can steadily increase the pace (should you wish) and enjoy each other in whatever way feels good for both of you. Before you know it, you’ll be a pro at anal sex and you’ll wonder what you were ever worried about.
There’s only one more thing to say – have fun!!!! I sincerely hope all of your butt-stuff dreams come true.
(And please, no need to thank me…)